Werewolf Cultural Sensitivity - Working With Employees Of Lupine Descent

Hello, everyone, and welcome to this month's professional development training session. Our topic this month is cultural sensitivity, and I'm sure I don't need to remind you all how important cultural sensitivity is to us here at Pinnacle.

We pride ourselves on our cultural diversity and tolerance, and in today's competitive employment market, we see our diversity and flexibility as an employer as one of our key strategic business advantages.

Now, each and every one of us has a part to play in maintaining Pinnacle's reputation in this respect. We've been in talks with the minority support groups about cultural sensitivity, and this month's presentation has been put together with a lot of help from the Pinnacle Werewolf Brotherhood - thank you very much, especially Max and Vicky. I know you've put in a lot of work on this.

Right! Let's get going shall we?

I shouldn't have to go over this, but apparently it has been an issue, so let me remind you one more time.

The term "werewolf" has been reclaimed with pride by our brethren of Lupine descent. This does not mean that it is an acceptable term for general use. Unless you are on butt-sniffing terms with your colleague, please confine yourself to the correct forms of address, which are "Lupine-descended person", "person of Lupine ethnicity", or "Lupinian."

The term "lycanthrope" is sufficiently broad as to cause confusion, so steer clear of that one.

And as a general policy, we request that staff refrain from referring to any other staff member, even a non-Lupinian, as a "dog" or a "bitch", even in friendly banter. This terminology may cause offence to Lupine-decended persons within earshot.

Bear in mind that your colleagues of Lupine descent have sensitive noses and can be rendered unable to work by strong perfumes and the odour of citronella. Please exercise caution in your choice of fragrance, and respond understandingly to requests to wash, should they become necessary.

The Werewolf Brotherhood has acknowledged that there is fault on both sides here, and their membership have agreed to refrain from rolling in manure until after hours on business days.

Please be aware that teeth-baring and low growling are sometimes involuntary reflexes, and try not to take it personally.

Our valued employees of Lupine descent are entitled to align their annual leave with the full moon, regardless of other business imperatives. Managers, please take this into consideration in your resource planning.

This accommodation cannot be revoked by line management, as it is an Occupational Health & Safety requirement.

Also for OH&S reasons, Lupine-descended staff will not be required to take business trips at or immediately before the full moon.

With regard to the lunch room, we are aware of the problems, and we are at work on an architectural solution. In the meanwhile, we ask all staff to be patient and tolerant. Small animals are simply more palatable when they are freshly killed, and management acknowledges this fact.

We do ask that Lupininan staff keep your lunches in cages until your lunch hour, that you make the kill in the designated area of the kitchen, and that you rinse the area immediately.

For non-Lupinian staff, until we have a separate eating facility in place, we ask that you be understanding about your colleages of Lupine descent eating their culturally appropriate meals in the common lunch room. Bear in mind that your meals are as appalling to them as theirs are to you.

We ask all our staff to work hard at being inclusive and tolerant, and the Werewolf Brotherhood have done a lot of good work in helping our colleagues of Lupine descent to modify their instinctive behaviors for the office. I know the women in the call centre in particular have appreciated their male colleagues' recent restraint when it comes to ovulation and sniffing behavior.

Likewise, the staff who have removed pictures of collared German Shepherds and Huskies from their desks and lockers in the past couple of months - thank you very much. This sort of co-operation and consideration goes a long way.

If you have any questions that haven't been covered in today's training, please have a chat to Max McMullen. You can find him in Accounting, unless the moon is full, of course, or call him on ext. 159. He will be here answering questions for a while after today's session, too, thanks for that Max.

So, I'll throw it over to you. How are we doing with cultural sensitivity here at Pinnacle? Questions, comments, observations?